Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
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