Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
