great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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