ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
