Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
