Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
