Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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