Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
