I'm drive I can fine osifer
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
