Well douche your snatch and let's go!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
