Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
