Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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