Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
