I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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