I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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