just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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