You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
