so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
