I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
