but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
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I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
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Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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