a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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