What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
