I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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