i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
