a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
