My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
