She's JV to your varsity
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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