wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
