I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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