I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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