we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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