conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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