My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
