You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
