Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
