I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
