Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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