nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
