I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
