therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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