We won't sleep together?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
