another moral hangover. fuck.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I forget how to act sober
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
