3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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