he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext me about skeletons
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize