Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He kissed a someone with a penis
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
