So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
