My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
