He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Randomize
