Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She even gives head with a lisp.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Randomize
