I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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