everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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