Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
