He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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