And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
