in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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