You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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