When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
please don't ironically join a cult
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