if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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