let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
