im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
