i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
