Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
