Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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